Marriage Guidelines
St. Elizabeth & St. Jules
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Foreword
When we as a Catholic Christian Community
celebrate the marriage of a couple, we are celebrating more than
a legal bond, we are celebrating a Sacrament, namely, the Sacrament
of Holy Matrimony. As with the celebration of all other Sacraments
in the Catholic faith, preparation is required to determine if
such a Sacramental celebration is indeed appropriate. Since
God is the foundation and source of love (actually, Sacred Scripture
tells us “God is love!”) it is our desire to help
the couple grow in their understanding and experience of God’s
love in their love for each other –after all, isn’t
that what Church celebrations are all about, discovering and
celebrating God’s love in the various aspects of our lives? Thus,
in order for the celebration to be truly meaningful and an adequate
reflection of the couple’s life and relationship, this
preparation is meant to address all aspects of married life (at
least in general) and , as such, is designed to foster spiritual
formation and growth. The following pages have been prepared
to assist you in your understanding and use of this process. We
hope and pray that this experience will help you and your future
spouse to become the primary channel of God’s grace for
each other until you meet the Lord face-to-face.
To assist couples preparing for marriage in the Catholic Church
the six Louisiana Bishops have established a common Marriage Preparation
Policy. This policy is adhered to by all the dioceses in Louisiana,
including Baton Rouge. Its major provisions are:
- A
couple desiring to contract marriage should contact their local
Church as soon as
decide to marry. A couple should contact a priest at least
six (6) months before the desired wedding date.
- A priest or deacon will meet with the couple on several
different occasions to assess the couple’s readiness for the celebration
of the Sacrament of Matrimony. A wedding date cannot be finalized
until the couple has met with the priest or deacon for at least
two or three sessions. A wedding will not be finalized more
than 18 months before the wedding. It is the responsibility
of the couple to contact the priest or deacon to arrange appointments.
- Every couple is required to complete a pre-marriage course
approved by the priest or deacon. For those being married
at St. Elizabeth or at St. Jules Church, the couple must participate
in an Engaged Encounter weekend.
- At anytime during the preparation the priest or deacon may
require that the couple receive professional counseling. If
either party is under eighteen (18) years old, or if the bride-to-be
is pregnant, then counseling is mandatory.
- If serious reasons would cause a priest or deacon to decide
not to proceed with the marriage or delay the marriage, he must
give the reasons in writing. The couple may appeal this
decision to the Bishop of Baton Rouge.
- No priest or deacon may officiate at the marriage of a couple
refused the Sacrament by another priest or deacon without permission
from the bishop.
- A couple may be denied the celebration of the Sacrament of
Matrimony in St. Elizabeth and St. Jules parishes, if neither
of them is practicing the Catholic religion. A couple may
be refused marriage if they are living together and refuse to
live apart for the duration of the engagement.
Basic Outline of Preparation at St. Elizabeth and St. Jules
- Initial interview with the pastor.
- Administration of Pre Marital Inventory (PMI) instrument
and Pre-Nuptial Inquiry.
- Review of PMI results
- Completion of Engaged Encounter weekend.
- Completion of all four sessions of Natural Family Planning
course.
- Final meeting with Priest to make preparations for the wedding
liturgy.
Date of Wedding
A wedding may take place any day of the week, except Saturday
evening or Sunday (unless it is celebrated during a regularly scheduled
parish Mass).
Weddings are not permitted on Holydays of Obligation or on the
eve of Holydays.
Weddings are discouraged during the season of Advent (4 weeks
prior to Christmas) and during the season of Lent (Ash Wednesday
through Easter Sunday). If it is the desire of the couple
to celebrate the Sacrament during these special liturgical seasons,
the liturgical guidelines and decor of the season are always to
be respected. The liturgical colors of Advent are normally
purple and rose/pink. Lent is normally a “bare season” (i.e.,
no flowers) with purple as the primary color.
Couples desiring a “Christmas Wedding” should note
that the Christmas season does not officially begin in the Catholic
Church until Christmas day. If a wedding is to be celebrated
in the period 4 weeks prior to Christmas day (i.e., during the
Season of Advent) it is actually an “Advent Wedding” and
must therefore respect the decor of the church for that season.
Time of Weddings
A wedding usually takes place on Friday evening or on Saturday
morning or afternoon. Friday night weddings normally start
at 7:00 p.m. Saturday weddings can be scheduled no later
than 1:00 p.m.
Cost of Weddings
A stipend of $200 for parishioners and $500 for
non-parishioners is asked to defray the high cost of utilities
and the use and upkeep of the church. A check, covering the
required stipend, is made out to St. Elizabeth Church or
to St. Jules Church and must be submitted before the
wedding rehearsal. An honorarium for the priest
or deacon is not included in this stipend.
Ministers of the Sacrament
The bride and groom themselves are the ministers of the Sacrament
of Matrimony. The Church requires that a priest or deacon
and two competent witnesses participate in the wedding ceremony. Priests
or deacons not assigned at St. Elizabeth and St. Jules may officiate
at weddings with the approval of the pastor of St. Elizabeth
and St. Jules.
If either the bride or the groom is non-Catholic and the presence
of their own minister is desired, it is possible to make
arrangements for him to be included in the ceremony. However,
a Catholic priest or deacon must in all cases be the one to officially
witness the wedding vows pronounced by the couple.
If the bride or groom desires that a priest or deacon, who is
a family member or close friend be included in the ceremony, we
welcome their presence.
The norm for celebrating the Sacrament of Matrimony between two
Catholics includes the celebration of the Eucharist (i.e., Mass). The
general practice for celebrating the Sacrament between a Catholic
and a non-Catholic does not include a Mass. Special circumstances
may warrant otherwise. A marriage between a Catholic and
a non-baptized person may not be celebrated with a Mass.
Attendants
Attendants act primarily as official
witnesses to the marriage. Church
law requires only (2) witnesses. At St. Elizabeth and at
St. Jules, no more than 12 total persons, i.e., six (6) couples,
may make up the wedding party (including the best man and maid/matron
of honor). No exceptions will be made.
Children who participate in the wedding such as ring bearers,
flower girls, and junior bridesmaids must be at least five
years old and able to participate without detracting from
the sacred character of the service (no exceptions will be made). While
flower girls may be a part of the wedding party, the practice of
spreading rose petals or confetti on the floor is not permitted.
Additional Assistants and Altar Servers
If there is a need for Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion,
Lectors, or Altar servers, persons who have served in that capacity
at St. Elizabeth and St. Jules churches are preferred.
It is nice to have altar servers, although they are not absolutely
necessary. You may choose a relative or two who are regular
servers to assist. If no relatives or friends who are servers
are available, please call the parish office and we will attempt
to find servers for the wedding. It would be fitting to give
each server a stipend of at least $25.00.
Wedding Coordinators / Consultants
All members of the wedding party, including the bride herself,
should rehearse for the wedding. There is no music practice during
or after the rehearsal. It is recommended that all additional
attendants (i.e., Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion,
Lectors, Gift Bearers and Servers) attend the rehearsal. Rehearsals
must be scheduled according to the availability of the priest
and the church. Anyone who is not immediately involved
in the wedding ceremony should refrain from attending the wedding
rehearsal.
Dressing Before Ceremony
At St. Elizabeth and St. Jules parishes, there is no private dressing
area available, so it is best for the bride to arrive at the Church
ready to begin the ceremony.
Music
Music is an important part of any wedding liturgy. Remember,
above all, that a wedding is the celebration of a Sacrament and
is a sacred event. As in any celebration of a Sacrament,
music should be chosen with great care. It is the custom
at St. Elizabeth and St. Jules, that the parish organists are used
for the celebration of Holy Matrimony.
The guidelines for liturgical music of the Diocese of Baton Rouge
are to be followed. Music at the wedding ceremony should be chosen
to express the distinctly sacred character of the celebration. Popular
music, cinematic themes and theater pieces are suitable more for
the wedding reception than for the wedding ceremony and are not
permitted during any part of the celebration in the Church. An
extensive list of appropriate musical possibilities may be obtained
from the parish office
Flowers and Decorations
Unity candles are not part of the Roman rite and therefore are
forbidden to be used in the church. Their use is acceptable at
the reception rather than during the ceremony.
Floral decorations add to the beauty and dignity of a wedding ceremony,
however, good taste in the appointment of decorations is required. Flowers
or ribbons that are attached to the pews should be taped on the
pews, not stapled. Candles are NOT PERMITTED DOWN THE AISLE
of the church. The use of additional candles in the sanctuary
must be approved by the pastor.
The use of arches are not permitted in the church. Aisle
cloths/runners are not permitted.
No arrangements of flowers of any kind may be placed on the altar
itself. Church furnishings and decorations are not to be
moved for any purpose whatsoever.
Availability of the church for decoration prior to the wedding
will depend on whether other services or weddings are scheduled
the previous or same day. The normal expectation is that
no more than one hour is needed to decorate before the ceremony. More
time for earlier decoration can be requested but not presumed.
The wedding party and/or contracted florist is responsible for
removing any decor (e.g., plants, flowers or candle stands which
are not being donated to the church. It is the responsibility
of the wedding party to remove any debris (e.g., boxes, flower
petals, bows) as soon as possible after the ceremony. However,
the practice of leaving floral arrangements in the church for weekend
Masses is appreciated if such flowers meet the decor for the current
liturgical season.
The couple is responsible for making these guidelines known to
the contracted florist(s) or to others responsible for wedding
decor. Please remember that less is best visually and financially.
Photographers
Photographers are welcomed for the wedding. Photography
of the ceremony should be done with extreme sensitivity to the
sacredness of the event. It should never intrude upon the
event, cause a delay in the ceremony, or be a distraction to the
congregation.
Photographers must speak with the priest or deacon in
advance of the wedding in order to clarify the specifics
for picture taking.
Photographers are NOT allowed in the sanctuary of the church (the
elevated area on which the altar, and presider’s chair are
located). Neither the photographer nor camera equipment will be
in the sanctuary area at any time before or during the ceremony. Pictures
during the ceremony must be taken from outside the sanctuary area. Pictures
will not be posed during any part of the ceremony. No furnishings
or decorations in any place in the church may be moved without
the prior permission of the pastor, even to facilitate a certain
picture.
Pictures of the bride and groom, and of the wedding party, should
be taken after the wedding.
There should only be one official photographer for the wedding.
The use of video equipment by one familiar with the use of such
equipment is allowed. No additional lights may be brought
in for video use and the camera must stay in a fixed position during
the ceremony. If male, the photographer should wear a shirt
and a tie. Coats are recommended, but not required. The same
dress requirements hold for professional video photographers. Female
photographers must be dressed appropriately.
The couple is responsible for making these guidelines known to
the contracted photographer and/or camera operator, and family
members.
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